pompey
we went over to grandma's today. herself has taken the week off as it is half term holidays so we all went. i always like going to grandma's as i get to see the girly dogs and play with all their toys. they have a new lobster which sqeaks rather fetchingly.
as we approached portsmouth my boy said "can we go to the pitch and putt?" pitch and putt is a sort of golf. i have never understood the point of golf. it seems you walk round a large field and now and again whack a small ball with a long stick. the main drawback is that you are not allwed to take your dog. whatever is the point to a walk without a dog?
anyway, my boy is chuffed to bits about going to play pitch and putt. "i love pitch and putt" he says, "you are allowed to say bollocks!" herself said this was not really the point of pitch and putt. "well daddy says it", says my boy. herself says "you might get thrown off the course by the lady in charge if you swear." "oh, no" says my boy, " you are allowed to swear in portsmouth".
herself then tried to explain that swearing was not such a great idea in case he offended someone, like small children. "oh they don't have children in portsmouth" says my boy " they are born as teenagers with fags hanging out of their mouths and funny caps". i don't know where he gets these ideas from.
the "bollocks" theme continued. as regular readers will know, my boy has a sitter. this is a nice lady who comes to visit so the peeps can go out. she doesn't actually sit on my boy but sits next to him which i suppose is almost as effective. she is from social services and every now and again another lady from social services comes along to see how things are going with the peeps and the sitter.
usually the peeps do a pretty good job of seeming like things are in control. they make a pot of tea and have a chat. today my boy decided to show the lady from social services his latest find on the internet. this is a website with loads of games you can play. the one he chose to share with the lady from social services is one involving a man called johnny vegas. a cartoon of mr vegas holding a pint of beer wobbles around the screen. with the mouse you have to control the beer to stop it spilling. if you are not too good at this, mr vegas spills his beer and shouts "bollocks!"
i think my boy made him spill the beer on purpose...
as we approached portsmouth my boy said "can we go to the pitch and putt?" pitch and putt is a sort of golf. i have never understood the point of golf. it seems you walk round a large field and now and again whack a small ball with a long stick. the main drawback is that you are not allwed to take your dog. whatever is the point to a walk without a dog?
anyway, my boy is chuffed to bits about going to play pitch and putt. "i love pitch and putt" he says, "you are allowed to say bollocks!" herself said this was not really the point of pitch and putt. "well daddy says it", says my boy. herself says "you might get thrown off the course by the lady in charge if you swear." "oh, no" says my boy, " you are allowed to swear in portsmouth".
herself then tried to explain that swearing was not such a great idea in case he offended someone, like small children. "oh they don't have children in portsmouth" says my boy " they are born as teenagers with fags hanging out of their mouths and funny caps". i don't know where he gets these ideas from.
the "bollocks" theme continued. as regular readers will know, my boy has a sitter. this is a nice lady who comes to visit so the peeps can go out. she doesn't actually sit on my boy but sits next to him which i suppose is almost as effective. she is from social services and every now and again another lady from social services comes along to see how things are going with the peeps and the sitter.
usually the peeps do a pretty good job of seeming like things are in control. they make a pot of tea and have a chat. today my boy decided to show the lady from social services his latest find on the internet. this is a website with loads of games you can play. the one he chose to share with the lady from social services is one involving a man called johnny vegas. a cartoon of mr vegas holding a pint of beer wobbles around the screen. with the mouse you have to control the beer to stop it spilling. if you are not too good at this, mr vegas spills his beer and shouts "bollocks!"
i think my boy made him spill the beer on purpose...
posted by joker the lurcher at 4:07 pm
3 Comments:
you brits really do have such a better flair for language...girly dogs and all.
Yeah, and in the States, the phrase, " they are born as teenagers with fags hanging out of their mouths and funny caps" would certainly have a more interesting mental picture brought to mind than disaffected youth smoking cigarettes on the corner!
iseult: i forget i have an international public these days! must be more careful. herself has told me about the problems she experienced in the us when she put her job down as solicitor...
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